Brown Rubbish to be “En-nobled”.

Gordon Brown’s edition of the now infamous Labour Lavender List of Dissolution Honours list is expected to contain the usual suspects. Famous croquet player John Prescott, Coatbridge pub bruiser John Reid, and the former Education Secretary disaster Ruth Kelly have expectations. Journeyman Sion Simon who stood down in Birmingham to allow Harriet Harperson’s TUC husband Jack Dromey to parachute into a safe seat will also be rewarded. Likewise Jeff Ennis whose surprise departure from Barnsley has paved the way for the No10 spin meister Michael Dugher to enter the Commons. However Gordon is furious with Sir Gerald Kaufman and Alan Meale who wish to soldier on thus creating a logjam for Brown toadies trying to get safe Labour seats. The PM needs his deputy political secretary Jonathan Ashwort and ex-Minister Chris Leslie in place to ensure Ed Balls succeeds him as Labour leader.

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